My life story only really began on the 17th September 1997. That’s the day I asked Jesus into my heart. My whole childhood had been spent doing things for other people, trying to win their affections. The day I got saved however things in my life started changing and I started to see myself through a different lens (that of the Father). I was loved and cherished by Him, just because I was His daughter.
However as loved as I was by God, I was just the same as most young woman in the sense that I still longed for a somewhat perfect life, including of course a somewhat perfect husband. I was glad to know that God says in His word that He grants us the desires of our hearts and that we are to ask Him in faith for what we long for (yes we all know there is a lot more to that verse than just that, but I was young and expectant). I asked God in faith for what I desired…and God gave me all of it…and they all lived happily ever after. Okay that’s not the end of the story, in fact it was just the beginning. I got all I asked God for, but it was packaged a whole lot differently to what I expected and according to an entirely different timeline than my own.
I waited 11 years for my husband Michael to arrive in my life. I could’ve made a different choice along the way as I grew impatient (and yes there were times when I felt very impatient), but I know it would not have been God’s best plan for my life. Michael is ten and a half years younger than I am which was a big surprise to me. Despite our age gap Michael leads me incredibly well, he is a super hands-on father to our princess and he has extraordinary grace for me, his wife. Best of all He searches for God in all things which blesses my heart most, he was certainly worth waiting for.
I chose not to limit God. He kept telling me during my waiting period to trust him, to wait for His best for me. I chose to hold onto that promise, even when friends around me were doubting God, I chose to hang on to the truth that God is faithful. Then when Mike arrived and he wasn’t what I expected, I chose to trust God all over again.
God answered my prayer and I married Michael when I was 37 years old. Our wedded bliss began and we made the decision to wait a year before we start trying for a family. However, God had other plans for us and after being married for only 2.5 months I fell pregnant with a baby girl. We embraced the surprise of falling pregnant so soon, but six months into my pregnancy I was rushed to the hospital with serious complications. I had hypertension, preeclampsia … and the list went on. Our motto even then, against those odds was ‘but God’ and we believed all the crazy circumstances were still under His control. Through every day of our hospital time, God was there and His presence surrounded us. We met with Him afresh every day, to trust Him anew, to ask Him for help, to give him our fears…to cry at His feet.
Our princess, Timina arrived three weeks later at 27 weeks and weighing in at only 735grams. The doctors who delivered her and performed all of her diagnostic tests informed us that they had done all they could for her and her prospects were not hopeful to say the least. We boldly held onto our faith in God’s plan for her little life and proclaimed again ‘but God’. It was an incredibly stretching time in our lives, but we thank God for His enabling grace, for our JoshGen (Joshua Generation Church) family and all our Four12 partnering churches who were standing together and praying for our little miracle girl. The facts were that she was born before her brain, bones, digestive system and skin had had their proper time to develop, she had arrived three whole months early, but we knew from God’s perspective she was right on time.
Timina miraculously pulled through and outlived the doctor’s predictions, she continues to be our living miracle. She has fought all the odds thus far and continues to surprise doctors and even ourselves. We know that in her worldly imperfection (Cerebral Palsy) God’s strength is made perfect in us and many lives are touched, changed and in some cases even restored to God. God works all things for the good of those who love Him, and we do love Him. Being Timina’s mom has changed me too, it’s made me more like Jesus. The process has been painful at times but as I look daily (at times in desperation) to Jesus to enable me, I reflect a little more of Him, every day.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
We continue to face many challenges as Timina grows older. There is the ever-mounting pressure of health challenges, ongoing finances to ensure she has what she needs to grow, special care expenses etc. but our hope remains in our faithful God who is with us always.
Michael and I made a conscious decision to hold onto God’s promises for our lives as well as that of Timina’s life. We ask Him daily to give us wisdom, grace and supernatural physical strength. We thank Him daily for our miracle and continue to speak life over Timina. We claim the prophetic dreams and words spoken over her life and wait on God for His perfect timing.
Throughout our journey, every step of the way (especially when things did not go according to my plan) I could have blamed God. I could have turned away from Him and I could have denied Him. Yes, He would still have loved me but I thank Jesus that I chose to remain in Him and I see the fruit of that decision every day. This life, and any suffering we face when given to God is never wasted. We share in His sufferings because one day we will share in His glory.
I pray that our journey will be an encouragement to men and women alike, showing the world that God is able to sustain you through anything and everything. Yes, continue going to God with all of your hopes and desires, but don’t be caught up in fighting for what society paints as a ‘perfect life’. Our God is so much greater than those boxes and ideals. He is always faithful to answer our prayers but His ways are higher and always perfect! He is worthy of your trust and His story for your life will always be the best, most adventure filled and most fulfilling.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Bev is married to her wonderful Mike and together they parent their precious daughter Timina. Bev is passionate about her Saviour, her local church family Joshua Generation Church and living a life that glorifies God.
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