Not His First Love

Four12 Global 2016, News, Testimonies


Being a woman myself, I know that most girls dream from a young age about meeting Mr Right, being pursued with 100’s of flowers, chocolates etc and then being the lucky recipient of a very romantic and surprising proposal.

I am lucky enough to be one of those girls who can tick all of those things off the list, when my husband pursued me he did it all.

‘The one thing I can’t say though, is that I am placed first in my husband’s life…and I couldn’t be happier about that fact.

This may come as a shock to most people reading this, as the world, the media & the society daily proclaims how a marriage should work, what it should be like AND DEFINITELY things like: “…if he really loves you, then you’ll be the most important to him forever…”

Now, I have to disagree. I love, adore and admire my husband so much! He is the love of my life, he adores me, he believes in me, he prays for me, he supports me, he encourages me to live out my dreams, BUT he knows that I can’t be the most important to him.

The one thing I can’t say though, is that I am placed first in my husband’s life

The reason for this is: He loves God more than he loves me! And THAT…is the 1 thing I will never expect or WANT to change in our marriage.

The fact that I married a man whose heart’s desire is to honour God in all he does, automatically means that God will forever be his “most important.”

Charles (Renske's husband) on the left and Renske on the right

Charles (Renske’s husband) on the left and Renske on the right

Don’t get me wrong, in NO way has my husband ever neglected me, chosen other people above me (not even our beautiful daugther). I know my husband will go to the ends of the earth for me, but still…God will always be his most important one.

We live in a world where we are selfishly indoctrinated to believe that a healthy marriage is one where both spouses makes the other their most important and THEN God get’s added to the picture…when in actual fact in the Word of God so clearly stipulates that God is supposed to be our “first love”, and then we get added to the picture.

I can never expect my husband to fulfill in my heart only that which God can do, just as I can never expect God to bless our relationship if we place Him selfishly “2nd most important ” in our lives and marriage.

I love God, I love the fact that He gave me such a noble, loving husband and I adore the fact that my husband places our Living King above me in our marriage. It’s because of THAT truth, that I can have peace that God will bless our marriage.

“In everything you do, put God first, and He will crown your efforts with success.” Proverbs 3:6(TLB)


Renske is a life-loving, energetic enthusiast. Married to the man of her dreams, and together they have the most beautiful baby girl. She is passionate about Christ and His plans for each on of us. Renske and her husband serve on the eldership team at Joshua Generation Church, Swellendam.

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