News image for 'Just One Little Kiss' about saving your first kiss for marriage.

Just One Little Kiss

When I was just 14 years old, I heard a girl in her 20s speak of her decision to save her first kiss for marriage. She had made this decision out of a deep love for her heavenly Father and a desire to put ‘God-honouring purity’ first, no matter the cost. Her words inspired me to make a commitment to God myself that day. I wouldn’t (with God’s enabling) kiss anyone until my own wedding day. Admittedly, to most I shared it with, this sounded like a seemingly impossible decision. ‘What if the man you want to date or marry doesn’t agree with you?’ friends would ask me. I knew this was a real possibility, but I also knew the decision I’d made was the right one for me. The truth God had etched into my heart was this: ‘The man that I have for you will respect this promise you’ve made’.

He was taken back at first and didn’t fully understand why I’d make such an extreme choice, but he chose that day to respect the promise I had made

Near the end of my Grade 12 year, I met Trevor, and soon after that, we began to date. On the day that he asked me ‘to be his girlfriend’, I told him about my ‘no kissing’ decision. He was taken back at first and didn’t fully understand why I’d make such an extreme choice, but he chose that day to respect the promise I had made, regardless of how he felt about it.

A year into our relationship, Trevor told me that the decision he’d made that day to respect my conviction and leave kissing out of the equation was a massive testimony of what God was doing in his life. He never thought that he would be able to be in a relationship without kissing the girl he was so crazy about, and he was so thankful that God was enabling him and showing him the ‘impossible made possible’. My choice, my testimony, was fast becoming our choice and our testimony.

Our decision was (in retrospect) a real ‘purity-protecting God-send’ throughout our rather lengthy 3-year relationship. Now, married for just a few months, we are seeing how God designed kissing to be a key that opens the door to so much more, and we are once again so grateful that God gave us the strength not to open any of those doors before His appointed time.

Now, married for just a few months, we are seeing how God designed kissing to be a key that opens the door to so much more

We weren’t perfect during our relationship and there are lessons we learned along the way, like these:

  • Being alone with someone you’re crazy about can be very challenging. Limits will be challenged and often, unfortunately, followed by conviction and repentance.
  • Accountability to a married couple, such as community leaders or elders, is extremely important –their insight and wisdom can be ‘life saving’.
  • Living in the light and allowing others you trust to speak into your relationship and lives, as singles and as a couple, is vitally important.
Trevor and Esther on their wedding day, January 2016.

Our wedding day was not only a special day because it marked the day that we entered into covenant with each other and God, but also the day of our very first kiss – a gift we got to give not only to one another but to our God too. We are so grateful for His salvation and mercy poured out over our lives and marriage.

We hope that our testimony can be an encouragement to others – we are not under law, but under His glorious grace . He enables us to lay aside the ‘good enough’ and choose the best, for His glory and our good. Thank You, Jesus.

Esther is married to Trevor, and they serve as deacons in Joshua Generation Church. They have two children. She is passionate about worship and building relationships with the leaders of tomorrow, the youth. 

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